Personal stuff – Read at your own risk

I cried some of the most genuine tears that I’ve felt in a very long time tonight. I’ve kept things bottled up for so long, but it felt truly good to let some of that out. I’m going through a very tough time in my life. I’ve been away from home since May and my relationship with my wife has deteriorated to the point that there’s nothing I can do to salvage it. The odd thing is that I’m not sure I want to. The even odder thing is that despite my feelings towards it, I am deeply affected by the change. I feel the stress of everything bearing down on me in a very physical way. My stomach is easily upset, and I have a general feeling of crappiness. It worries me to feel like this because I’m always concerned that it will never go away or that no one else feels the way I do. I know that’s probably silly, but it’s how my mind works. There doesn’t seem to be an outlet for it all at times, but tonight helped tremendously…at least for now.

A Brutal Truth

Do you still see me,
or just what I’ve done?
I feel so distant,
so detached, so numb.

Of course I still see you,
but I’m not sure what you mean.
You’ll always mean a lot to me,
but I won’t forgot what I’ve seen.

I’ve always been this way.
We both know that is true.
I just didn’t it could go so far.
I never thought I’d lose you.

I don’t think you’ve lost me,
It feels like you pushed me away.

I honestly didn’t mean to,
but I won’t beg you to stay.

I’ll never regret a moment,
even when I’m finally gone.
This just wasn’t meant to be.
It is time to move on.